Normal Life

So I have this sneaky suspicion that my life has changed for the good. Something seems to happen when you have a little life under your care 24/7; I think it's called responsibility. Not that I didn't have responsibilities before, but it is so much easier to let things go when you don't have a little one. I mean, if you don't feel like lunch, don't eat. And hey, you have some time, so take that nap, the dishes can wait. But not now. I mean, sure, you can let the dishes go, but then there won't be a bottle for when the little one is hungry and howling. And then, you have some time, but oh, the little one's awake, so no nap for you; you're the entertainer. And maybe I'll take some time to myself to write, but, wait, she's upset and needs some mommy cuddling and a rock in the glider.

So, yeah, this is a change--but I would say it is good change. Sure, I did lose it yesterday: My little girl had a meltdown and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I even looked at her and said, crying myself, "I don't know what you want!" I had a good cry at the kitchen table when the last straw occurred: my phone crashing to the floor, the battery skidding across the tile and producing a new crack on my cell phone. All this while my little girl was still crying. But you know what? I would rather have all this chaos than be absent my sweet Alexis. We prayed for so long for a child and she is a precious gift from God. So even when I have these days and when I see my freedom more limited, it doesn't change the love I have for my little girl or even for my crazy life now. It's worth it.

Oh, and I also think God might be teaching me patience and endurance. God uses our children to grow our character; it's not just Him using us to mold theirs. So I will choose to see this as God's awesome working in my life!