The Power of Praise and Encouragement

"Discipline means teaching your child how to behave and giving him boundaries and limits. It means praise and encouragement as much as firm and fair control." --Jo Frost

Jo gives an excellent definition of discipline. Discipline is really teaching a child how to behave and it often involves limits. I thought of certain actions of the Christian world that are called disciplines: fasting, meditation, solitude, etc. Each of these mean bringing ourselves into control and limiting ourselves to achieve a purpose: a single focus on God. Just so, discipline is helping children learn how to control their actions so that they can learn to live purposefully in life.

But I also really loved Jo's second point. Discipline also involves praise and encouragement. If you are supposed to teach a child how to behave then not only do you let her know when she's done something unacceptable, you also let her know when she's done it right. My guess is that for a lot of households out there, there is a lot more "Don't, Don't, Don't" than "You did that so well!" Jo gives an example of a child who has not gotten into the trash, not chased the cat, been buckled up in a car seat without complaining. For thirty minutes, this child has been doing the right thing. So has a parent pointed that out?

"Don't be stingy with praise. Praising a child for good behavior will not make her big-headed or spoiled. And good behavior doesn't have to be anything big time. It can just be the absence of bad behavior. Many parents see that their kids are behaving well and think to themselves, 'Phew. They aren't acting up at the moment. That gives me a chance to get on with other things.' And off they go. What they forgot to do was communicate to their children that they noticed their good behavior and appreciated it" (Supernanny).

Praising and encouraging children when they are doing the right thing is powerful. It can go a long way and it feels so good to be so positive, both for the child and the parent. How many times in the Bible do we see Jesus and Paul commending people for their good faith and actions? We should never forget that praising is just as important as pointing out bad behavior. We mothers should be a voice for encouragement in the lives of our children. How wonderful it is to know your mother is pleased with you!