Babies Are Human, Too

Okay, so let's admit it's true. We all mainly think about ourselves. This makes sense because we are us and no one else is and we experience life as ourselves and not as anyone else. Therefore, we think most about what we know best: ourselves. Now, enter someone else, let's say a spouse. It takes some time and effort to not only get to know another person, but to see that person as more than two-dimensional. It's so easy to just assume your husband feels a certain way or thinks a certain thing. For example, early on in our marriage, I'd think my husband being really quiet meant he was mad at me. However, he's an introvert, and even though I knew that I had to work on remembering that my assumptions are not always, maybe not even sometimes, right.

So, enter a baby. I think it is so easy for parents and adults to fall into the trap of making their children two-dimensional. Because we think they should do a certain thing or behave a certain way (usually something we desire them to do) we think that if they don't do it, they are trying to goad us or test us. Sometimes, this will be true. But I've started to wonder if parents shouldn't try to remember that their children are human, too. The assumptions we project onto them might not be accurate it all. I had this illustrated so clearly to me just recently.

It was time for Alexis to go to bed. Usually I rock her a couple minutes, then put her in the crib. Sometimes she'll cry a little and then just go to sleep. This time, as I put her in bed, I noticed she was a bit more clingy and a lot more weepy. I had just recently read something Sally Clarkson had said about one of her daughters that was less well behaved one day and what she really needed was to talk to her mom because something had been weighing on her mind. So, I decided to take Alexis out of the crib and rock her some more. Yes, she's just a baby, but I wondered if she just didn't need a little more time with a mom who was distracted most of the day with lesson plans. Lo and behold, as I rocked her, she began to babble on and on to me. This is when it hit me: babies are human, too. Aren't there nights when we can't go to sleep easily? Aren't there nights when we want a little extra love? Aren't there nights we want to talk the day out?

As adults, we need to remember that children are people, too. Maybe that need to be up from bed is a call for some more attention that wasn't given during the day. Maybe it's a child that just has trouble turning his mind off and needs to let go the days happenings. Maybe we should realize that some things are worth taking the time to do, even if they feel like an inconvenience to us. I guess when it all comes down to it, we can't make our children two-dimensional. Maybe baby literature has contributed to this, making us think we can analyze our children and know exactly what is going on in their little brains. I think a step back and a good dose of getting into another's shoes, just like we did with our spouses, will go a long way.

I wouldn't have traded my precious time with Alexis. As I held her, I realized it won't be long and these moments will be a distant memory. Taking the extra five minutes to hold her and stopping for a time to worry about things that needed to get done was worth it. In eighteen years, I won't be looking back and regretting that the dishes didn't get done one night, but if I pass these moments by, I might be regretting the time I could have spent with her. I don't want to live in regret. I want to seize every moment with my little girl right now.