Back to School: Three Words of Advice for Your Children to Have a Successful Year

I have taught at a private Christian school for the last several years and one year our dean of family education presented three things he tells his children he wants them to do at school.  I have never forgotten them.  I was struck by how simple and profound they were and how very different from what many parents tell their children.  So, as children head back to school, I wanted to share his three statements for his children that I have appropriated for my own child:

1. Have fun.  I loved that this came first.  So many children look at school as a downer.  I like the emphasis on all the fun things that children get to do--sciences labs, working problems, art, recess, reading, writing, sports, etc.  Find what your child enjoys and encourage him to approach every school day as a day to have fun.  Even encourage him to enjoy those subjects  he doesn't particularly love because it will certainly make school a lot more fun.

2. Do your best.  Our dean emphasized that he does not say "get A's."  Children have been gifted in particular ways and the truth is they just aren't going to be gifted in everything.  Telling a child to go to school and get A's is setting him up for disappointment from day one.  It also tells him that all you care about is a letter on a report card.  He feels a weighty pressure to measure up to your expectations and if he isn't gifted in everything, he will fail.  Telling children instead to do their best boosts both their confidence and their independence.  They know they have your trust and your praise even if they aren't always amazing at everything.  They have the freedom to try, make mistakes and learn.

3. Look for someone you can bless today at school.  This is my favorite out of all of them.  Lest we forget, in school we rub shoulders with members of the human race.  I read this point as a charge to our children describing how to treat the people they encounter.  How uplifting to go to school specifically looking for a way to bless another person.  Ask your child when he comes home who he blessed and how.  Then tell him how proud you are that he cares about others.  Children don't develop only academic habits at school; they develop social habits, too.

If your children come home and they have had fun, done their best and blessed someone, that has been a successful day at school.