Yes, I know breastfeeding is best. Yes, I know it has all the best benefits for my baby. Yes, I know it will set my child up for good health in life. And yes, I know I'm a failure in this area.
I read another article yesterday that said never give up breastfeeding because it will cause all these problems in your child. Your child's health and intelligence are at stake. Argh! Being a mother who for several legitimate reasons had to switch from breastfeeding to formula feeding, I get very discouraged by these kinds of articles. There is this twinge of guilt that strikes every time I read them. One mother I know who also had to formula feed warned me that guilt would come and I'd need to stand up against it. So I have this mantra in my head when I read this stuff that just because I am formula feeding I am not ruining my child. In fact, this friend's daughter is one of the most intelligent, kind, creative people I know. Just because we have to formula feed doesn't mean our children are going to fail in life and struggle.
I'm so sick of hearing the rigid dogma about breastfeeding. It's interesting to me that in several books I've read, formula feeding isn't even addressed. All advice is for breastfeeding. I did find one good book that has helped me out, but just one so far. I just wish those passionate for breastfeeding would realize that for those of us that this didn't turn out possible, our children aren't doomed. I'm really not trying to ruin my child and I love her to the depth of my being. And for some reason, I think God knew what I'd go through and He'll use my little girl to His glory anyway. Amen!
Mommy and Her Girls
About this blog
This is my blog to share about anything and everything mommy! Feel free to enjoy following me on my mommy journey and to comment, encourage and pray as you feel led along the way.
About Me
- Carissa
- I have been married for thirteen years and I am the mother of two daughters. I'm taking a break from being a teacher at a Christian school to be a stay-at-home mom. Most importantly, I'm a dedicated Follower of Christ.
9 comments:
I hear you! All of my girls were formula fed for different reasons. I do have to say all of my kids are mostly healthy and intelligent. Actually, Emma is testing to be in gifted and talented and is in the top 10% of kids in her class! You sweetie will be just fine and try not to feel too guilty!
Thanks!!!
I totally agree with you, Carissa! And I solely breastfed! It was the only thing that worked for us :) Griff refused to eat out of a bottle or sippy. I think about all the babies who are left for adoption or too sick to nurse or whose moms can't produce milk......like God of the universe is going to punish them for not getting breastmilk!!! He knows each and every child before it is conceived and what is going to be best FOR THAT BABY! I love you and I totally stand by your side!~~Amber
For various reasons, I breastfed 2 of my kids, and I formula-fed the other two. This is certainly no indication that I love some of my kids more than others. The same goes with school choices. I have 2 in public school, 1 at Christian school and 1 homeschooled. Different things work for different kids. We need to stop judging each other. God has only one "one-size fits all" plan for his children and it is Jesus. This is Kelly P. but can't figure out how to post a comment with my name. Sorry.
Good point, Amber, about all the babies that can't breastfeed. God certainly won't punish them. I'm actually really happy for moms who get to breastfeed. I wish I could have.
Kelly, love the comment about the only one-size fits all plan. Amen!
Oh, and to comment with name choose Name/URL where it says comment as.
I pumped after Laura was born, because I didn't want to nurse but still wanted her to have the benefits of breast milk. Several people were so mean with their comments about how Laura and I would never be properly bonded because she didn't nurse. Thankfully, they were too big of cowards to make those remarks to my face, so they made them to my mom and she defended my decision vehemently.
I ended up having to stop pumping when she was about 6 weeks old, because she wasn't tolerating my milk. I also wasn't producing enough milk to feed her, so we were supplementing with formula from the first week of her life. We did everything we could think of to remedy her intolerance, and then we discovered that she was going through withdrawal over and over again every time she drank my milk, because I had been on an antidepressant while I was pregnant with her (post-miscarriage need that continued through her pregnancy) and she was getting a little hit of it a couple of times a day when she had my milk. Once she was weaned completely from my milk, she was a completely different child -- happy, not crying all the time, and thriving.
Now, she is a very intelligent almost 3-year old who astounds everyone she meets with the incredible mind the Lord blessed her with.
Oh, and I think we're pretty well bonded, too. ;)
Stick to your guns, Carissa! Your friends are exactly right -- the Lord provides for and blesses every child, not just the breastfed ones!
I don't even have or want children, and the aggressive pro-breasfeeding folks annoy me too! I'm certain I was formula fed, and I *think* I turned out ok, ;-P ! As for bonding, breastfeeding actually significantly hurt my best friend's bond with her daughter. The breastfeeding was very difficult for her, but she persevered anyway because she thought she needed to. She was also working 3/4 time, so every moment she got with her child was spent in pain and difficulty, and her child only wanted to be with her when she was feeding, otherwise, she was only happy with Dad. 18 months of that built a whole lot of sadness, anger, even resentment. She hated feeling that way toward her daughter, but couldn't help it. The kiddo is 3 1/2 now, and their relationship only just started getting back on track at maybe age 3. Having an emotionally healthy relationship with your child is far more important than the potential small health benefit that breastfeeding might afford. I've known you a long time, and you were made to be a mom, even if you weren't made to breastfeed!
Amanda, thanks for the encouraging story! And so true, God will bless our children regardless. I love our Lord!
Sherry, I had that problem, too. I felt so much resentment towards Alexis. Stopping breastfeeding totally changed my feelings towards her. And thanks for your sweet words about me being a mom. They mean so much to me!
Carissa you are a new mommy that is feeling your way around.. There will ALWAYS be critics no matter what. Do you see the above picture with you and the child that God blessed you with?? Wellll that is what a child needs.. A loving praying, nurting woman of God who prays at every turn for the wellbeing of her family. The God that you serve is all knowing and was well aware that not all mothers can or choose to breastfed for different reasons.In his mercey and grace he has granted man the wisdom and permission to attempt to assimilate as close as possible what he knows is best for his children. You will hear many more objections to your child rearing. At times you may even question yourself but you are a woman of God that is led by the spirit. God has the final say so.. He has a plan before we have a problem. Yes anything that God creates is ALWAYS better than anything man attempts BUT again God has the final say so. He has chosen you to be the steward over this precious bundle of joy that he has given LIFE to.He WILL supply all of your needs acording to his riches and glory in Christ Jesus. Mans ways are NOT god's ways.Be encouraged!! I Love you my friend You are awesome parents!!!Shawn Busby
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