In Defense of Valentine's Day

I saw a post or meme going around Facebook that basically explains why someone has never liked the holiday. In essence, it says that this person would rather have a rose given on a random day because it shows more love because it isn't mandatory. This sounds great, but ignores a rather large group of women who need Valentine's Day: those with less romantic husbands.

Yes, I have friends who post pics of their husband giving them flowers "just because." That meme or post will go far for people who already experience this in their life. It will make them feel more loved and special. But my husband is not the "give flowers out of the blue" type.

Now, before I go any further. I am okay with that. And I could make a meme that says something like, "I don't need Valentine's Day. I don't ever have to be given flowers or chocolates to know my husband loves me." But that would hurt and hit the group of people whose husbands do do that, husbands who have the love language of gifting or married women who have the same language. A meme like that would elevate me and cheapen the way they express love in their relationship. I love that they give gifts! On the other side, gifting is not my major love language. I've never been upset with my husband for not giving me things randomly.

To add, neither of us are a gushy, lovey dovey type. We don't whisper sweet nothings in each other's ears. I'm afraid we can't watch romance movies because we usually end up rolling our eyes or chuckling. Once again, it's okay for people to be like that. It's that we aren't and it's so outside who we are that it's funny.

That said, it's nice every once in a while to take that special time with each other and to see my husband come through the door with roses, my favorite flower. Valentine's Day for my husband is a day he doesn't have to feel awkward getting lovey. He can comfortably join in what is seen as the norm. I love that he takes the time to get me flowers because it isn't common. We love sharing gifts (I get him chocolate) and going out to a restaurant for time away from kiddos and being just us. We hardly ever get time for that.

Look, we have kids. We plan sex. If we didn't plan these times, they wouldn't happen. It doesn't make our time together any less worth it because we had to plan it. The same goes for Valentine's Day. It doesn't mean anything less about our love just because we celebrate on that day.

So I am glad for women who get random flowers, but this post or meme denies many women's reality, those of us who look forward to our introverted or less romance oriented husbands feeling comfortable with diving into the romantic ways of the day. Valentine's Day isn't a day to make love cheap for many of us. It's a day to celebrate love and enjoy it.