Eliora's Birth Story

I didn't go into labor on my own with my first baby. Since I had not progressed at all and was a week overdue, I ended up at the hospital on a Monday night with the expectation of being induced the next morning. Cervidil was applied to thin my cervix and that jump started labor so instead I had my daughter in the early morning hours. For this reason, with my second baby, I wasn't sure if I would know when labor started since I had been at the hospital when I went into labor with my first. I was afraid I'd miss the signs of labor. Ha ha ha...I didn't.

I woke up at 1:14 am because my lower back was hurting. I had actually gone to bed around midnight and was already hurting in my back but thought that was because I'd been sleeping on the couch most of my pregnancy for back support. The fact that the pain woke me up clued me in that this might be labor. Still, I didn't want to wake my husband for fear this really wasn't labor and I knew you should wait anyway until contractions were 5 minutes apart for an hour. So I started timing what I believed were contractions at this time, whether just Braxton Hicks or for real. 14 minutes...9 minutes...5 minutes...5 minutes...4 minutes...4 minutes...4 minutes...3 minutes...3 minutes...So, okay, at this point I really should have just woken up my husband, but I still had this silly fear that this wasn't really it and I'd wake him for nothing. I waited almost an hour, but the fact that they were coming every 4 to 3 minutes made me decide that this was most likely it and since our hospital was 35 minutes away, I'd better get things moving.

My husband is not a happy camper when you wake him up. I think it's so funny that when I woke him his first words to me were, "Why does this have to happen at 2:00 in the morning?" Yep. That's my husband. He got up and started getting ready while I got our five year old daughter up and dressed. I'd already packed up stuff for myself and her so it didn't take too long to get in the car. By the time we were on the road my contractions were moving towards two minutes apart. They weren't terribly painful as I could still talk through them. I called my parents (who live right by the hospital) along the way to meet us there.

We arrived at the hospital at 3:15 am and then it was routine being taken to labor and delivery and assessed. At this point the contractions were taking my breath away and my five year old said, "I'm scared." She'd been excited, but I think seeing me in pain made her afraid. When they measured me I hadn't progressed any more since my last OB appointment; I was still 3 centimeters. I think they didn't think I'd progress so quickly and I didn't either. We were all wrong. (As a side note, poor hubby was so tired that when they took information and asked what my highest level of education was he said, "She's in preschool," thinking of our daughter. LOL. I corrected that).

They put me in a room and soon my parents came. My mom stayed and my dad took my five year old back to their home to sleep and await baby's arrival. Now, in my first labor, because I was going to be induced the next morning, they gave me a sleeping pill to help me sleep overnight. But I went into labor as you'll recall above. So with my first, I have a hazy memory of labor. I slept between contractions and pushes. I remember being in pain but I got an epidural fairly quickly. I had to ask my husband a lot of questions later about what went down since I wasn't cognizant for a lot of it. This time, my memory is filled mostly with pain. All I know is it hurt, I screamed. The nurse was great at talking me through and my mom held my hand. My water broke and the contractions hurt worse. I'd carried a lot of fluid so it came gushing out and kept gushing through several contractions. I asked the nurse what color it was and she looked surprised. I knew it should be clear to show no infection and she said, "It is clear, labor and delivery nurse" :-)

I did want an epidural with this labor as well and had already asked for it, but the anesthesiologist had to drive up in the middle of the night. I kept asking when he would get here and telling them I needed him here because I did not want to labor all the way through without pain meds. I knew if he didn't get here soon they couldn't give me the epidural at all. It took forever for him to get there. By the time he did I had progressed to 9 centimeters! I had gone almost all the way. I was so glad to get the epidural and finally be able to think and breathe.

Soon after, pushing began. I don't remember how many times I pushed, but it wasn't many. Our second baby girl was born at 6:00 am on the dot, a mere 2 hours and 45 minutes after we got to the hospital. They placed her on my abdomen immediately and I was in love at first sight. Actually, I'd been in love since I got pregnant.

You see, we tried for almost three years to get pregnant a second time. I had spent much time in the sadness of infertility. It took us almost two years to get pregnant with our first. Coming up on three years trying to get pregnant again, I figured that it wasn't meant to be. My prayers had turned from, "Lord, please help me get pregnant" to "Lord, I want to want what you want. Make me content with one child"; and I really meant that. If Alexis was the only child we would ever have, I wanted to be fine with that. I didn't want to keep spending time pining away over something I would never have. I needed to be wholly present for my husband and daughter.

So in May, when I felt cramping, I figured my period wasn't far away. And then I kept cramping and cramping, but no bleeding. Hum...I finally decided to use a pregnancy test I happened to have and just see. I told myself I wasn't pregnant and not to get my hopes up--and then the blue line that declared I was pregnant appeared. I was excited, overwhelmed, in disbelief. And I loved that little one in my womb that very moment.

However, I am also someone who struggles with fear. I was so afraid that something would go wrong. But God used this pregnancy to strengthen and solidify my faith. I bled early on. I ended up in the ER, afraid that I had lost my little one. Yet in that moment I told God, "I will love you, no matter what." It was only two veins bursting on my cervix as my womb grew--no harm to the baby. So I was put on a light bed rest. And then I had a gestational diabetes scare--but blood work came back normal. And then I tested positive for Group B Strep and would need antibiotics during labor to keep the baby safe. And all along I prayed. Nights were hard. I'm always more fearful at night. But I kept turning to God with thanksgiving and praise in the midst of worry. And somewhere along the way I heard an almost audible voice say to me, "Be calm, Carissa. This baby will be delivered and be fine." And I held to that promise.

All along my pregnancy I was struck by the grace of God. I didn't need to be pregnant again. I didn't need to be enjoying the beautiful movements of a growing child inside. But I was. Every movement was a reminder of God's grace in opening my womb again. I kept being drawn back to a Psalm that spoke to me in my fear, Psalm 27. I held onto the first and last verses most: "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?...Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"

During pregnancy, when I woke up in the middle of the night, which was often, I'd read through a baby name website I found online, perusing potential names for our little girl. Originally I'd been drawn to Lydia, a favorite character of mine in the Bible and my grandmother's name. But I wanted my husband to like the name as well and so I did what we did with our first baby: I made a list and then had my husband look at it and nix anything he didn't like. For this reason, I still went through a name list to pick several to choose from. That's how I stumbled upon Eliora. I had never heard this Hebrew name before, but I thought it sounded beautiful and I was drawn to its meaning: God is my light.

I spent most nights of my pregnancy praying through fear and sleeping on our couch. Our house has windows everywhere and in our living room are high windows above our first level windows. Most days I awoke to the sunrise filtering through those windows and I'd look and think, "The Lord is my light, what shall I fear?" The more I meditated on that verse, the more I fell in love with the name Eliora. It fit my infertility and pregnancy journeys perfectly. And it contained the truth I want for my baby: that the Lord would be her light all throughout her life.

Labor happened so quickly, I didn't get the two rounds of antibiotics I needed for the Group B Strep. But you know what? Eliora was fine. She showed no signs of infection. When she was born, we discovered two knots her cord. But they were both loose. I had prayed specifically that God would protect my baby from cord problems. You see, God kept his promise to me. She was delivered and she was fine.

God is my light. He's my light, he's my family's light, he's Eliora's light. God is the only solid hope in our world. Our baby was born at 6:00 am and not long after, the sun rose. My mom took the picture  above. It's a reminder of our baby's birth and of God's glory in creating a child in an infertile womb and sustaining the faith of a fearful woman throughout her pregnancy. I still struggle with fear. This world will give me plenty of reasons to fear, but I am so overjoyed that God has shown his faithfulness and love to me through the gracious gift of our precious Eliora Kay.