A Dash in a Dot World

I'm a strange American creature.  I'm a square peg in a round hole.  I might as well admit it--I'm a dash living in a dot world.

What are dashes and dots?  I've borrowed the terms from a friend who taught a Bible study I participated in.  At the beginning of the study, she mentioned that there are dashes and dots in this world.  Dashes are people who move at a slower or more flexible pace in life.  Dots are type-A people who have a schedule and stick to it.  Basically, the dashes might show up late to Bible study and slip in and the dots will show up punctually.  She said for the sake of the dots, she would start on time, but the dashes were welcome to slip in when they arrived.  I knew immediately which one I was--a dash.

You see, I've never been good at constraining myself to a clock.  I'm easily 15 minutes late to things.  When I'm interacting with someone I will go way over the time I "should" have left because I don't want to dismiss the conversation.  I let interruptions take precedence.  And I just forget about that clock...or I do sometimes.  Often the clock is an ever hovering monster, a conveyor of guilt reminding me that I am a bad person.  Because although I am a dash, I live in a dot world.

In fact, there are many dash cultures--I just don't live in one.  If you want the technical terms, dashes are polychronic and dots are monochronic. The writer here describes polychronic cultures viewing time as flexible and monochronic cultures viewing time as a commodity. America is monochronic and thus we have phrases about time such as "wasting time,""losing time" and "time is money."  But polychronic cultures don't plan by a clock; they plan by events.  When one events is over, you go to the next one.

So what's my real problem?  I was born polychronic and live in a monochronic place.  As such, I have to work to not be such a dash and conform to the dot.  It's a daily struggle.  And I used to beat myself up about what being a dash said about me--that I don't value people because I don't value their time.  You see, this is what a monochronic culture tells you.  But I knew that wasn't true.  I knew I didn't devalue people.  While studying ideas of time, I came to realize that a polychronic culture does not undervalue people at all.  In fact, people come before time in polychronic cultures.  The clock doesn't take precedence over people.  I felt a sigh of relief when I figured out who I was.  I'm a dash and being a dash does not equate to being bad.

No, I'm not going to give up working to conform and be "on time."  Since I know dots can see dashes as offensive if they are late, I'm going to work at it.  In fact, I've had some success, been able to make myself a dot in certain areas of my life.  But if I fall back to my natural state, I'm going to give myself grace.  I'm a dash.  I've always been a dash and always will be a dash even if I look at times like a dot.  I've learned to appreciate my dashness.  The big upside of a dash?  If you call me to do something spontaneous or you want to come over all of a sudden, I'm flexible.  I'm up for it.  Most of the time, I'm not constrained to the clock.   Most of the time, you need me, I'm here.

If you want to read any more about cultural concepts of time, check out these links:

Time Perception in America

Chronemics: Monochronic and Polychronic Cultures