Relativism Breeds Selfishness

Abraham Maslow asserted that a person is self-actualized when he follows his own desire for self-fulfillment, or personal growth. Of course, what his hierarchy of needs doesn't do is make moral judgments about what are good self-fulfilling desires and what are bad self-fulfilling desires. Oh, but we live in a culture that doesn't have any bad desires...or do we?

I read an article today about a woman who decided to leave her children behind. She realized that she never really wanted to be a mother and didn't like where motherhood was taking her. She wanted her independence and to pursue her own goals. She's written a book about her journey. Yes, she is honest. Yes, it's her real journey. But does that make her decision right?

We live in a culture that is all about my rights and my life and leave me alone and let me do my thing. Our culture doesn't call this selfishness; it's hidden in the guise of relativism. "My truth and your truth are equally valid and you can't tell me it isn't" is the mantra of our culture. Dictionary.com defines selfishness as "devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others." Whatever your view of her actions, this woman who left her kids behind certainly was concerned primarily for herself and her own benefits. This has a name. It's called selfishness.

You see, being a mom is hard. It isn't rosy every day. There is spilled food, angry crying, vomit in the middle of the night, runny noses, crazy scheduling. Moms everywhere sacrifice their own pursuits and time to take care of these issues and many more. But we don't live in a culture that honors sacrifice very often, unless it is in war or some out of the ordinary heroic act. A mom isn't often lauded for her decision to give up herself for her kids.

In a relativistic society, it should be no surprise that people choose themselves over others. It's inevitable because there is no moral standard by which to determine the right choices. The truth is, there is a moral standard: God. His greatest act was dying on a cross for all mankind. It was the ultimate sacrifice. Jesus didn't choose himself; he chose us.

It's interesting to me that people like it when they choose themselves, but put them in a situation where a friend, or spouse, or family member chooses himself over them, then they are affronted. On the inside, we actually know that selfishness is wrong. Otherwise we wouldn't be upset when others act selfishly.

I may live in a relativistic culture, but I do not buy into what relativism is selling. I know what standards to live by. And I know that I am not going to abandon my daughter when it gets hard, when it's a struggle. Oh, it is so easy to think of quitting. So easy to solve it all by running. But the soldiers we honor are the ones that stand up in the fight, not the ones who turn tail when the going gets tough. Moms, let us encourage each other to never give up the fight and stay strong in our motherhood!