Reflections on Our First Year of Homeschooling

The following are reflections on our first year of homeschooling last year. If you're a homeschooling family, you may identify. If you are thinking of homeschooling, you might be encouraged. If your kids are in public school, please hear me, nothing here is an indictment of your choice. These are simply my reflections and not meant to imply public school is inferior. There are upsides and downsides to every school choice, and I know that full well.

1. Homeschooling isn't as scary as some think it is. A lot of people tell me, "I could never homeschool." When you get into it, it really isn't scary, I promise. You find you actually can teach rudimentary math and reading and writing. After all, you do these things all the time.

2. I am part of my daughter's every day life. One thing I didn't like (though not a reason we chose to homeschool) was asking my daughter what she did at school and getting, "I don't remember." I realized how much of my daughter's days I lost. I got to journey with her last year and in doing so I grew to know her so much better. I learned things I didn't know about her and heard her heart because we had the time and the freedom. We experienced her best hours of the day together. I loved that. It made me a better mom.

3. We bonded as a family. My oldest daughter has gotten to know her baby sister. She's not a mothering type and homeschooling gave her the opportunity to rub shoulders with her sister everyday and see how I cared for her. She also bonded with daddy, who is getting in on teaching her some fun things like basic computer programming. We're learning and growing right along with her.

4. She dealt with making friends, conflict resolution, and bullying. We are part of a homeschool association, held holiday parties, met with numerous friends throughout the year, and participated in extracurricular activities. We don't get out of social life by homeschooling. My daughter had to be bold, get to know people, make friends. She had to resolve conflicts in play and discussion. Twice she faced bullying. I was able to guide her through the difficulties, teaching her how you deal with unfair and mean people.

5. She learned at her level and her pace. This was our number one reason for choosing to homeschool. We had flexibility. She's got math aptitude and loves science, but letters are not her thing. She's also heavily kinesthetic. She can't sit still for long. She does so much better with the freedom to take a break and move her body. I also discovered her peak time was in the afternoon. She needs mornings to rev up for the day. I started out wanting to do school in the morning until I realized the source of her frustration. Moving to the afternoon was the best decision we made.

6. I'm not homeschooling in the '80s. I'm not meaning to knock '80s homeschooling moms. What I mean is that there is so much available these days from homeschooling associations to hundreds upon hundreds of curriculum choices. Tailoring to your child's needs is wonderfully easy (if perhaps a bit overwhelming initially). Homeschooling has grown by leaps and bounds and there are so many opportunities for homeschooled kids, including taking classes provided by homeschool groups or private schools or even extracurricular classes at public schools. This is a good time to homeschool in the United States.

7. Dealing with people who don't get your choice. Luckily, I haven't met many people who get upset over the fact I homeschool. But when I do, I know they have in their mind a mythical idea usually based on that brush they had with a homeschooler who was weird or a homeschooling family who didn't really homeschool at all. I know they haven't delved into the homeschool world, met hundreds of competent, well rounded homeschool children. They don't know my children, they haven't walked in my shoes. I don't get mad. I explain. If they choose not to see it, oh well. They don't need to agree with my choice, but I hope they at least afford me the right to make it.

We're continuing to homeschool this year. An initial observation: it's even easier the second year. And more fun--you know how free you can be and how to use your days. You get the rhythm. And you realize you can do this and you are!