My Daughter Is More Than Weakness

I read this article recently and resonated with this quote from it: "Don’t focus on the areas of struggle. Yeah. No, seriously, don’t turn your child’s area of struggle into the thing that defines him. The rest of the world focuses enough on that without your help. Spend some time shoring up the weak areas, but focus on your child’s gifts and talents. Let his strengths be what define him."

Yes, my daughter is a spitfire. Yes, she is still learning the meaning of respect and obedience. Yes, I am working on that at home. Yes, it is hard for her sometimes. Yes, she thinks she should do what she wants and get her way. Yes, she gives upset faces when she doesn't get her way. Yes, I know all this. I know all this a hundred times over and over and over. And if this was all I ever focused on she would think every day she was the worst person on the planet and that every adult is perfect and she is a total failure.

I see so many other things in her, though. I see her creativity exploding, her imagination on fire. I see her desire to draw what she sees in her mind, the color that explodes on the paper. I see her desire to write books, to bring creativity to life. I see her love for her family; she asks every night to snuggle with me because she loves me. Nature fascinates her. She knows so much about it already, way more than me. She creates LEGO structures I would never have thought of. She's got math aptitude far more than I do. She seizes the joy in running and swinging and jumping. She can tell a Bible story with gusto. She is my brave girl.

I want others to see the positive in my girl, to see her strengths and not just her weaknesses. Just once I'd like to hear that she's creative, that she's knowledgeable, that she is energetic. Please stop and see her for more than her weaknesses. Don't you want the same? Don't you want people to see the positive in you? Don't you want people to realize that you are growing and changing and not to define you by your struggle to grow?

Teachers, fellow parents, dear friends, remember that children are growing. Don't make their negative their definition. And don't foist on parents the look of "you are a failure" when a child doesn't act perfectly. We already know where our children struggle. We assure you we are helping them to the best of our ability. Maybe what we need is an encouraging, "You can keep at it," rather than a look of disapproval. A look of disapproval never encourages anyone to do better. All it does is condemn.

Take some time today and try to see the positives in others. Take their weaknesses to the Lord. Instead of condemning, maybe pray for them. Pray they grow stronger in weakness and their positives bring glory. My guess is if our attitude changes towards them, their attitudes will change to themselves. Imagine what would happen if every day you were told you can do it, you can rise above your weaknesses. What might that do for your day, your week, your life? It would give us courage. So let us infuse in our children the same courage we desire for ourselves and maybe we'll see more change than we ever thought possible.