Grasping Precious Time

This morning I caught a portion of the movie Hook on television.  I haven't seen it in years, probably since I was in high school.  In a certain scene, Peter's wife says this to him about his children: "Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack may not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children, when they're the ones that want us around. After that you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast Peter. It's a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it."  I got teary.  I didn't back in high school, but now as a mom, I understand her words.

Lately I have read several blogs where mothers have lamented that people tell them, "Enjoy these years.  They go by so fast."  And to be honest, it disturbs me the way some mothers treat or think of people who say this to them.  This is one phrase I have been told that I have taken completely to heart because the people who have said this to me are right.  How do I know?  My daughter is now 3 1/2.  Wasn't it yesterday she was an infant?  Three years have passed in the blink of an eye and I know time isn't going to slow down for me.  I do want to enjoy and cherish these times.  Because what Moira says in Hook is true.  Our children want us around.  This is the time to speak into their lives.  If we wait, it will be too late.

Now I know the mothers that are upset with the people telling them to enjoy the time are lamenting because they are facing the "not so happy," and perhaps "downright ugly," times of difficult children.  Trust me, some days I just want a long break, like when Alexis is screaming about something and angry or bawling her eyes out when I've told her "no."  But that's part of being a parent.  By definition, a parent is to guide a child to control their basest nature.  It's part of the program and not a very fun part most of the time.  So I get why some moms are annoyed at the phrase, especially when someone chooses to use it at the wrong time, a time when they are thinking, "Yeah.  So not enjoying this right now."  But, dear moms, wrong timing doesn't make an untruth.  The phrase is true, whether our emotions like it at the time or not.  Time is short and I don't think it is wrong to be reminded of that fact.  I am grateful for the older moms who have told me to enjoy the time because it reminds me to stop whining over having to be a parent and cherish my little girl while I can.

I also want to say that this becomes all the more poignant for moms like me who struggle with infertility.  My husband and I have been trying for two years to have a second child.  I may only get childhood once.  I cry when I realize I may have felt movement in my womb once, held and rocked an infant once, witnessed first smiles once, watched first steps once.  Do you know how many cute things Alexis has done that are now past and I won't get to see them again?  I think for this reason, I understand the phrase, "Enjoy them now.  They grow up so fast."  Most likely, I will get these once.  If you are a mother blessed to enjoy these for a longer time, understand you are fortunate.  Some women who long for a child won't even get the once.  I think we need to be grateful for our blessings rather than whining over the hard times.

As Christians especially, we should cherish the time.  God calls children a blessing from the Lord (Ps. 127:3).  He has given them into our hands.  God also commands us to "Be joyful always;  pray continually;  give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thess. 5:16-17).  Even as moms, we can't say, "Well, God didn't mean me because children are hard."  Most of life is hard, so I'm guessing God did mean this to apply to mothers as well.  We need to be careful not to let emotion wear down our faith in the moment.  When we feel the anger and frustration building we need to hold fast to the Jesus who gets us through the moment.  We pray.  We take an objective step back.  We realize that even in a discipline moment, God is with us.  That this won't always last.  That we were even lucky enough to get pregnant in the first place.

Thank you, dear God, for all the sweet, loving mothers out there who work hard day by day.  Give them strength and a fountain of your grace.  Remind them daily that you handed them a blessing and help us all to remember that life on this earth is but a breath and then gone.  We love you, Lord Jesus!